Q: Why is house-hunting like a blind date?

A: Because you have no idea what you really want, and maybe you'll know it when you see it, and lots of well-meaning people want to fix you up, and you have to keep smiling even though you're horrified when you finally meet, and you have to shake hands and pretend to be interested when in reality you can't wait to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THERE!

House-hunting euphemisms:
charming = small
quaint = old
starter home = it's going to take a lot of work to fix it up
beautiful view = not much to look at inside
3 bedrooms = 1 bedroom and two large closets
eat-in kitchen = just pull a stool up to the counter, OK?
cute = similar to charming, except for the younger set
great kitchen = counter space, running water, and a few appliances
Must see! = nothing we could write would get your interest
Excellent condition = the owner is pleased with all the enhancements he's made even though they make you want to gag
Rent with option to purchase = we can't sell the damn thing so we might as well rent it out until the market improves (don't get too comfortable in case we get an offer)
range = very old stove
off-street parking = there's no garage but you can park in the driveway, isn't that special?
spacious apartment in former schoolhouse = three college kids can live here and split the rent (now that one was really scary)

I've looked at so many places they're starting to run together. My condo in Michigan could rent here for $1700 easy. Too bad I'm only getting $1000 for it. That limits my options, and the cost of living is so much higher here. I knew it would be but that doesn't make the search any easier. There's absolutely nothing acceptable in my price range, so the price is inching upwards with every visit. That's a trick they use - show you something below your price (eeuuww), at your price (oh, no, is that all I get?) and above your price (maybe it's not too much after all).

Should I rent on this side of the river (Poughkeepsie, Rhinebeck, Hyde Park, Red Hook) or make the trip across the bridge every day (Kingston, New Paltz, Ulster)? Hyde Park, where the CIA is located, is smack in the middle between the Mid-Hudson Bridge and the Kingston-Rhinebeck Bridge. This side of the river it's a 15 to 20-minute drive to work; across the river you have to add another 20 minutes at least. Not to mention, there's a toll to cross the bridge every time.

The worst part is, I hate doing this kind of thing by myself. Normally I'd have 1, 2 or all 3 of my sisters in tow. And if they were busy, there's a couple of lovely friends who'd be more than happy to tag along. I do have three different real estate agents helping me, and I do mean different. Funny how they have their favorite areas - not much overlap, so I guess that's a good thing. Craig's List is another source for rentals and some actually show pictures. (Another similarity to on-line/blind dating - don't click on anyone who's not willing to post a picture and never go see something alone, or at least not without telling someone where you'll be.)

The Residence Inn is looking better every day....